Personal Log. Chief Engineer, Ped Varook. 04.10.3001.I take full responsibility for the failure of our mission to Mirald Prime. As I was the only person to have even visited the planet before, I suggested we use their Vacuum Capsules to explore the city of Giroque. They are the most efficient means of transportation on the planet. I had no idea that human anatomy would react in such a way.
What happened to Chief of Security Rumson, and the Commodore reminded me of an old Cretian story where the infidel Posnoke was punished by our supreme goddess, Kundak, for being born a male. Posnoke was tied to a flhan tree and then his skin was secured to two rhoos beasts. Kundak whipped the beasts into a charge which resulted in pulling Posnoke's skin clean off his bones.
My actions I feel were not adequately punished by the Commodore; therefore I will give myself ten lashes to the back of my thighs with a Cretian barbed switch.
Both Commodore Ludwig and Chief of Security Rumson lost control of their bowels. Given my heightened senses, I could deduce that Officer Rumson ate a ham sandwhich for lunch and Commodore Ludwig had lamb chops with Gouda cheese, if I'm not mistaken. The stench to my sensitive Cretian nasal passages nearly caused me to evacuate saline drops from my tear ducts.
Such a reaction from a Cretian female is horrific. On top of my other punishment, I shall give myself ten lashes to my buttocks as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment