Mirald Prime, Team Ozzie. Part 4/4

The National Mirror *
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Our top story today...

Doctor's have revealed that Amanda Cordes has been successfully implanted with a monkey embryo, the first medical procedure of its kind. Mrs. Cordes agreed to the procedure after an unfortunate collision with a sidewalk entertainer and his dancing monkey. The furry performer was injured in the incident and is now on her way to recovery, though the then pregnant monkey was unable to continue carrying its unborn child. Feeling responsible, Mrs. Cordes agreed to an unorthodox surrogacy, despite strong reservations by her husband.

Originally unsure how a lower primate would react to the womb of a woman, after Mrs. Cordes' first ultrasound her doctors agree that everything is progressing positively. When asked what her first impressions were when she saw the images of the ultrasound, Mrs. Cordes said, "It was quiet at first, but I think it realized it had an audience because it began to move all over – like it was dancing. I think it knows its roots. I feel so blessed."

Mrs. Cordes went on to say that she has formed a bond with her monkey fetus, and she feels it will be difficult to give it up once it is born. It is currently unknown whether the monkey's biological mother will be able to care for a child. Asked how she would raise a monkey baby, Mrs. Cordes' responded, "I would treat it as if it was my own. But I would make sure to teach it about its heritage, both as a monkey and as a street performer."


In other news...

A transit tube was backed up today after an accident occurred over Pahn Street. Authorities claim that it was a mechanical malfunction of one of the carriers, but we here at the Mirror have exclusive evidence that it was no accident at all. In fact, we believe that the carrier was purposefully sabotaged by an alien race visiting our planet. It could only be left up to speculation as to why they wanted to damage our public transportation, or what their intentions were on our planet. Whatever their mission, it must have been botched because our sources say that two of the aliens were injured in the event.

When questioned, official authorities vehemently denounced any such alien visitation as preposterous.


* The National Mirror is similar to Earth's National Enquirer.