Voncats, Commodore Ludwig, Part 1/4

Personal Log. Commodore Jonathan W. Ludwig Jr., 04.15.3001

Success! In the first combat engagement with an alien species by the Liberace, we handedly thwarted a dastardly plot by a Voncat Destroyer to steal some of our vital systems information. Upon initial contact, the Voncats opened fire on us, obviously trying to destroy our thrusters. We returned fire and a heated battle ensued. Their Captain who was a crafty adversary – a bow-wow with the know how – then set up in an attack position on our stern. Tactically a UIN cruiser is no match to the fire power of a Voncat Destroyer and if they had been able to bust a cap on the ol' Liberace, we would have been space dust. However, due to my totally dope strategizing, I emptied our waste ballasts and the Voncat craft was disabled as it flew through the refuse. That's one crack head that won't be dissn' J-Lud's posse again.

I ordered Mao Ling to call in for a UIN clean up crew. We could have mopped up those douche bags ourselves, but I felt it was more vital to continue with or mission to Terraquadonis.

I also issued a command today that every Friday, Chef will serve New England clam chowder for dinner. I've never been to New England, but if the Chef's soup is any indication of their cuisine, J-Lud is laying out his pad in N-Gland fer-sure bra'.