Getting to Know the Crew, Dr. Leary

A Brief Biography of Dr. Timothy Leary XII

Dr. Timothy Alfonse Leary XII is the descendent of the infamous 20th century Leary of the same name. Graduating from the Jamaican School of Medicine, Dr. Leary earned instant notoriety for his doctoral thesis on the healing effects of his ancestor's LSD drug when treating Mad Duck disease. It was an affliction the Doctor himself suffered from. He apparently had become infected with Mad Duck while experimenting with a fungus that grows on fowl dung.

Outside the medical field, the Doctor is also a writer of some cult popularity. He is most recognized for the volumes of Haiku poetry he has written. Dr. Leary is touted by many as spawning the "Regurgitation Movement" of the modern Haiku. Some of his more noted poems are Pickle my Feet, Greased Suppository and Euphoric Brownie. More recently Dr. Leary has abandoned titles for his works stating that a poem should stand on its own. It is often conjectured that he writes so many Haiku poems he has in fact just run out of ideas for titles. None the less, Dr. Leary now simply labels his poems as Haiku #32 or Haiku #56.

Not respected by all, one of Dr. Leary's more staunch critics, Snell Silverstein, lamented that Leary's work represented "carnival prose". In which Leary responded, "Blow my pole."

Besides poetry, Dr. Leary has also written "The Event Horizon of Cream Cheese." It's a novella about a man who believes a bagel's empty center is the black hole for cream cheese everywhere. Some speculate that the book is autobiographical.