Herbal Excitement, Jean Sprat. Part 2/4

Personal Log. Commodore's Liaison, Jean Sprat. 03.31.3001.

Yesterday, on the second day out of central command, the Commodore decided to put in at Chinook Delta for what he said was a last minute supply run. I reminded Johnny Junior that it was unorthodox for an Intergalactic Starship to dock with a nonmilitary port unless in need of immediate repair, but the Commodore was insistent. After speaking with Dr. Leary, Chief Physician, he was convinced that the health of the crew might benefit from a certain herb that could be acquired from Chinook Delta.

I really couldn't complain because I found a lovely Borlean silk that will make a wonderful scarf or possibly a sarong for beach season.

Upon my return to the ship, however, I found the Commodore in an unusual state. He was gorging himself on Lunacious Ranch Doritos, watching episodes of a 20th century television show called CHIPS, and laughing hysterically while saying over and over "cool, man...cool, mop up that pooty, Panch." As far as his physical state, his eyes were bloodshot, his attention span was severely compromised, and he had an erection that lasted four hours. I know because I timed it.

I also measured.

For a proper diagnosis only, I swear. He was at eight inches which is larger than average, but nothing to warrant any concern.

I called Dr. Leary, however, when Johnny Junior started singing, "Baby Got Back" and getting "jiggy" with his easy chair. After a half hour I returned to the Commodore's room to find the Doctor under a similar state of disarray.

5 ½ Inches.

Fearing some sort of outbreak I immediately quarantined them to the Commodore's quarters and hoped the illness would run its course.

Lucky for all of us, both Johnny Junior and the Doctor showed signs of recovery this morning, though neither recollects much of the previous night.