Personal Log, Captain Jonathan W. Ludwig Jr. 03.28.3001.
Space, the last unconquered vestibule. Thus begins the adventures of the Intergalactic Cruiser, Liberace. Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to explore wigged-out extra-terrestrial cribs, hang with rad alien hunnies, and boldly probe where no dogg has probed before.
I am Captain Jonathan Ludwig.
Today I embark on a dream. Out there, in the great expanse known as space, I begin my destiny. The stars are calling my name – J-Lud, J-Lud, come to us -- and I shall rocket towards that mellow vibe as the youngest Captain ever to command an Intergalactic space vessel. With my well-trained crew and my state-of-the-art cruiser – The Liberace – we begin a voyage into the history books. As the great poet, 50 Cent once said, "dat booty is waitn' for a mad hump". Such poetry is lost on the minds of today, but I think 50 Cent would agree that space is that vast booty, and I am prepared to deliver the mad hump with a fist of fury.
As my great legacy is all but assured, I feel I deserve a more suitable title than just mere Captain. I mean, come on. I'm the youngest to ever command. Ever! I am da' man. I am the walrus. I am Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. I am Jonathan W. Ludwig and this is the Liberace. This be my ride, mo-fo. It be some fly wheels with one tricked out big-block and groovin' tunage.
Yeah, that's how I ride, what of it, bee-atch.
After speaking with Jean Sprat, my personal liaison, I discussed several possibilities for a title modification, such as Commander Ludwig, Boss Ludwig, Don Ludwig, Head-Honcho Ludwig and Daddy-Mac Ludwig. Jean was really insistent on Skipper Ludwig, suggesting the title would work well for me if I wore a fedora with bell-bottom pants. Though I do look smokin' fly in bell-bottoms, I was shooting for more of a ten-gallon hat rather than a fedora. Oh, and a cane. People who carry canes that don't need them look da' shit. "Skipper" just wasn't going to cut that cheese, so I decided on Commodore Ludwig.
As my first command I officially change my military title from Captain Ludwig to Commodore Ludwig.
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