Personal Log. 1st Mate Beck. 04.25.06God damn Slurs. I should have vaporized their hairy asses. If it wasn't for our little side agreement, I would have hunted them down, skinned them and hung their grungy pelts from our hull. They would have mad a nice coat and maybe some slippers.
After the Liberace stopped spinning and I was able to get away from my toilette, Chief Communications Officer Mao Ling and I met with the Slurs. I had never encountered one before. They are sort of a cross between a slug, hippo and gorilla. Their fur was thick, but where you could see their gray skin it was scabbed and slimy. And the smell – oh god the smell.
I couldn't help it. I vomited before I could even shake their truncated flipper. Mao Ling said something to them, then for whatever reason, both Slurs started vomiting too. It was a chunky, yellow and green vomit that smelled like Tabasco and sour milk. So I vomited more. Then Lang started barfing and it was a good ten minutes of "guess what I had for lunch".
The Slurs did agree to repair our ship. I saw an opportunity and convinced Ling to talk the Slurs into actually giving our engines a little boost. Unfortunately they couldn't do anything for our weapons. As Ling explained it, a homemade potato gun would do more damage than a Slur phase cannon.
It was a lucky for Jean Sprat the collision occurred when it did. Before the accident, we were engaged in combat training and I was baiting him the whole time, completely pretending he was kicking my ass. I was about to unleash a whole world of hurt when we were hit by the Slurs.
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