Greeg'u's Punishment, Plu'ngi. Part 1/3

Personal Journal. Plu'ngi, Wife to Arcadian 1st Lieutenant Greeg'u. 05.05.3001.

(English Translation)

Oh, my poor, wonderful Greeg'u – my pitiable husband. How I wish I could whisk away the past few weeks for him, and save him from the humiliation he has endured. He came home a week ago, dejected, head hanging low and totally beside himself. There was almost no life left in his tentacles, and he just lumbered to the couch, turned on the proto viewer and watched game shows all day and infomercials about floor wax. It took me the whole afternoon pestering my husband before he would explain what was wrong.

"I totally 'flooed the coodle' (screwed the pooch)," Greeg'u said. "After what I did I'll be lucky to be a commander of a sewage transport."

Apparently he abandoned an extremely important mission into human territory because of a misinterpretation of mission codes. He allowed a human vessel to escape, compromising an assault that had been planned for months.

I tried to console him, but he just moped around the house in his bathrobe drinking hot cocoa, and playing with his collection of human testicles.

Then today, Greeg'u went before the Arcadian High Command to answer for his actions. He refused to allow me to attend, not wanting me to see his embarrassment. When he returned Greeg'u refused to say what happened, but he went straight to his office and dumped his entire testicle collection in the incinerator – even the one that looks like the Arcadian celebrity, Sung'du'kee, which Greeg'u has pined over since he sliced it from the human's scrotum.

I don't know what happened, but at least he will be allowed to make amends. He ships out tomorrow, which means I should give my husband a very special night to remember. I'll have to break out the lotions and jiggle-nibblers.

Death to humans.